When I wrote about the cookies a few posts ago, I remember writing a line about my obsession with new ideas. I take hobbies, activities and even career changes to an obsession. I surround my life with everything that has to do with my current state of mind. Currently, 3 new and beautiful pink covered books lie neatly stacked on my end table with recipes for gorgeous cakes, crusty pies and chocolaty brownies. Cylinder cans lie spilling out a green meadow of tennis balls over my white marble floor thanks to Diego's determination to have them race each other. With my writing I am enveloped with extraordinary writing guides recommended by artistic friends and I'm re-reading novels by my favorite authors. Every line I read stands out a little bit more clearly. Sentences seem to speak to me. I feel like I can identify with every novel I read. Magazines are littered in every room and I don't leave my house without reading material in by bag in case I have to wait for the chiropractor or in case Diego falls asleep in his stroller. But with all my obsessions, friends have always been supportive. A cheerleading squad with "You Can Do It!" signs flashing my way. Friends never said, "I know you can do better." Until now.
Not one of my friends said much when I decided to stop teaching and decide to work in the spa industry in New York City. After my disastrous attempt at trying to open up a spa, I started answering phones at a spa. My friends never said, "You shouldn't be a receptionist at a spa! Get back to teaching!" And even if they did think it, they never said it. Perhaps they knew I would keep growing and they hoped that I hook them up with a 90 minute Odyssey Ayurvedic massage and throw in a Darshana Balancing facial! With the writing it has been different. Friends have started to really tell me what they think. Jose uses the same line after reading a post, "You need more details”. I’m working on it honey! A girlfriend recommended that I visit another blog that her friend writes for some ideas and wrote me an awesome email with feedback and ideas. Another girlfriend blatantly told me that I could do better. She even said, "You are holding back. When you can write about everything, the real stuff, the raw stuff, then you have become a writer."
I never said that I wanted to be a writer because (here it goes) because I'm scared. I don't even really know what I would like to write about. Certainly not a novel. A few months ago I had an urge to write and decided to write about my experiences in Asia because many people suggested I should! But here's what I noticed: I didn't mind the advice and the suggestions. I checked my ego at the door! And if that doesn't count for something than I don't know what does! For the first time, I'm not "Little Miss Know it All". I'm helplessly vulnerable-putting myself out there-not worried (ok maybe just a little bit) about what people are going to think. Okay, I worry a lot about what people are going to think. But, I'm comfortable and ready to let everyone guide me.
Friends guide you when they know you are truly struggling. Friends guide you when they know what you truly want to achieve. They know when you are challenged and feel defeated. Great friends really know you, period. When you go through phases in life it's just "living". When you are passionate about something it is life. My friends know I’m ready to live my life. So I’ll take the suggestions (even the ones that sting a little). Because of you dear friends I will become a better something-even if it is not a writer.
Xoxo,
Betty
P.s. Thank you to my cheerleader friends who read every post and hold up “You Can Do It” signs. I love you too.
Señora Juez
My eyes were tearing as I stayed up to watch President Obama nominate Ms. Sotomayor for a position in the Supreme Court. I love, love moments like this. I loved that she lovingly thank her amazing, hard working mother and that President Obama gave an amazing speech that revolved around Ms. Sotomayor's Puerto Rican parents of 2 who worked hard to give her children the very best-love, time and books. Such an inexpensive and precious gift to give to our children has been the secret to many successful stories. I am so proud to be a Latina today. So proud of having witnessed history that could be the story of any of my Latina girlfriends. I wish Ms. Sotomayor the very best and hope that all young Latinas see this incredible woman as a role model.
Momoko the Peach
Our good friends Mike and Momo came to visit this weekend from Japan. It was a great treat for the end of my stressful and painful week. They walked in after a few days in Australia while my friend Kylie was packing up her bag of goodies after my treatment. Friends from Japan really know how to cheer you up!! From their suitcases came yummy and spicy wasabi flavored peanuts and little moon shaped crackers that go SO well with a Sapporo beer! Jose will be really excited to dig into those. Momo also brought Japanese green tea and from Australia, a stuffed boxing Kangaroo for Diego and Macadamia and Mango biscuits (ahem...cookies). We had a quick tea and they headed off for an exciting 4 days in Singapore. I couldn't move so they promised we could at least eat together.
We made a really nice pasta dinner on Wednesday. My friend Tiz gave me this simple but awesome bright cherry tomato, fresh mozzarella and basil pasta recipe. We had the penne with a red-grape, manchego cheese, pistachio and dried cranberry salad. Everything was so fresh and so crisp! We paired it all up with some nice Chilean wine and my neighbor's chocolate cake topped the dinner off for dessert.
We made a really nice pasta dinner on Wednesday. My friend Tiz gave me this simple but awesome bright cherry tomato, fresh mozzarella and basil pasta recipe. We had the penne with a red-grape, manchego cheese, pistachio and dried cranberry salad. Everything was so fresh and so crisp! We paired it all up with some nice Chilean wine and my neighbor's chocolate cake topped the dinner off for dessert.
On Friday, I was still not doing great and my refrigerator was not stocked for guests so I opened the freezer, took the grill out and just marinated skirt steak with lime and adobo, sauteed prawns with garlic, salt and pepper, chopped up the spicy Spanish chorizo, grilled peppers as well and fed everyone tomato sopita that I made for Diego. Luckily he chose the stars and not the ABC pasta. Everything was simple. The grill is great for quick dinners and nothing is bad with olive oil, garlic, salt and pepper. We can taste the real flavors of all our yummy ingredients.
Before their late flight back to Japan on Saturday, I finally left the house! We went to Clarke Quay, enjoyed a nice and slow walk by the river and ate at one of my favorite restaurants in Singapore...Iguana's. Mexican! You guessed it! A bit Tex-Mex but I'll take it!! Momo had layered chipotle enchiladas, Mike the crispy but not greasy chimichanga and Diego and I had chicken fajitas. Nothing like Lalo's in Chicago but we can't be too picky...this is Asia after all!!
Now I'm just cooking basics for Diego and eating sandwiches!! I must call the Mexican grocer and stock up before Jose arrives on Saturday!
xoxo,
Betty
P.s Momo helped me with my homework. She was such a gorgeous and patient model!
To quote the famous...
...Deepak Chopra
"Women are needed. The feminine can save us. We need wise, nurturing, affectionate, tender, motherly, intuitive, creative energy to save us. We need the feminine now".
"Women are needed. The feminine can save us. We need wise, nurturing, affectionate, tender, motherly, intuitive, creative energy to save us. We need the feminine now".
To quote the famous...
...Charles Darwin “The wisest will not survive, the strongest will not survive but those who adapt will survive.”
Papeles
When I was younger and working on my career I knew that if one day I wanted to stay at home with my kids it would be my choice. After all, I became independent at a very young age with a father that encouraged me to fend for myself but demanded that I study and have a career. He and my mother wanted me to be strong, educated and prepared.
When I married Jose 5 years ago, we didn't discuss what we would do when we decided to have kids. I followed him to New York though and thought, that they option of having my mother help us with kids would be out of the question...our families live in Chicago. We didn't think about it and had a blast as a single and young couple in NYC. When the opportunity for him to take a position in Tokyo came about, I thought it would be exciting, adventurous and a great opportunity for him. Jose told me that I didn't have to work if I didn't want to, there was no pressure for me to contribute monetarily into our relationship because I was supporting him in a completely different level. I am not the type to sit around and not seize opportunity so the same weekend we arrived, I posted my resume on the "Gaijin Pot" and had an interview for a teaching position at an international preschool that following week. Two weeks after I accepted the position as co-teacher for Bumblebees (18month-24 month class) and head teacher for the Crickets (a 3 year old afternoon class) I found out that I was pregnant.
The news came as a surprise because we both agreed in New York (about 6 months before we moved to Tokyo) that we were ready to become parents and if were to be so lucky to get pregnant-great! But with the stress of moving to Japan, we forgot all about it and were surprised it happened so quickly.
I taught up to the 6 weeks before I gave birth to gorgeous, little Diego and couldn't even consider going back to work. We were living in Japan without family and we both agreed it would be best for me to stay home. I remember telling my Japanese friend, Mari that I was really scared. I was always super busy, handling up to 3 jobs at a time simply because I had many interests and with my teaching salary, I enjoyed making extra money to travel and support myself. I was scared that I would be bored but after sharing those precious but long first days with Diego on my own, I thought, "Is this it for me? I'm just supposed to live in Asia, away from my family and friends, and follow my husband around and raise children? What about everything I worked for?" It's been a little over 2 years now and I discuss this issue with my girlfriends a lot (they are probably so sick of it!) but I came to the conclusion that this is what it is for now and that I am happy and soon I will get back out there and try to change the world one student at a time. But little reminders and different opinions are always refreshing.
Today I watched a really great Larry King (CNN, I tell ya) that reminded me that we (women) are worth what we personally value ourselves. If we don't believe in ourselves, no one will. It was a great discussion on self-worth that caught my attention and I quickly hit the record button on my DVR to watch during quiet time. I was really impressed by Lisa Nichols, a motivational speaker and author of "No Matter What" who reiterated the idea that we are always looking for validation. Women often think that it is not enough to be "just" a mother or "just" a wife. We need to accept it, work on those relationships as hard as you worked for your spot in the corporate office, or teaching classroom or as the head pastry chef in the hot kitchen. Once we have accepted and shoot for success in our roles as mothers and wives, we need to realize that those roles don't complete us and must find other outlets that compliment us. My girlfriends and I, Latinas, White, Black and Asian, are so incredibly lucky to have the options that some of our mothers didn't have. The simple fact that we can continue to educate ourselves while we are at home with our kids, or work from home and simply have the right to decide for ourselves what we wish to do during transitions in our life is fantastic.
I felt so refreshed after watching this Larry King episode because as I have written previously, Jose is in London and when he is gone, I fall into the dumps a little bit but look for and find the "signs" that snap me back and remind me how truly lucky but strong I have become. Thanks Larry!
xoxo,
Betty
When I married Jose 5 years ago, we didn't discuss what we would do when we decided to have kids. I followed him to New York though and thought, that they option of having my mother help us with kids would be out of the question...our families live in Chicago. We didn't think about it and had a blast as a single and young couple in NYC. When the opportunity for him to take a position in Tokyo came about, I thought it would be exciting, adventurous and a great opportunity for him. Jose told me that I didn't have to work if I didn't want to, there was no pressure for me to contribute monetarily into our relationship because I was supporting him in a completely different level. I am not the type to sit around and not seize opportunity so the same weekend we arrived, I posted my resume on the "Gaijin Pot" and had an interview for a teaching position at an international preschool that following week. Two weeks after I accepted the position as co-teacher for Bumblebees (18month-24 month class) and head teacher for the Crickets (a 3 year old afternoon class) I found out that I was pregnant.
The news came as a surprise because we both agreed in New York (about 6 months before we moved to Tokyo) that we were ready to become parents and if were to be so lucky to get pregnant-great! But with the stress of moving to Japan, we forgot all about it and were surprised it happened so quickly.
I taught up to the 6 weeks before I gave birth to gorgeous, little Diego and couldn't even consider going back to work. We were living in Japan without family and we both agreed it would be best for me to stay home. I remember telling my Japanese friend, Mari that I was really scared. I was always super busy, handling up to 3 jobs at a time simply because I had many interests and with my teaching salary, I enjoyed making extra money to travel and support myself. I was scared that I would be bored but after sharing those precious but long first days with Diego on my own, I thought, "Is this it for me? I'm just supposed to live in Asia, away from my family and friends, and follow my husband around and raise children? What about everything I worked for?" It's been a little over 2 years now and I discuss this issue with my girlfriends a lot (they are probably so sick of it!) but I came to the conclusion that this is what it is for now and that I am happy and soon I will get back out there and try to change the world one student at a time. But little reminders and different opinions are always refreshing.
Today I watched a really great Larry King (CNN, I tell ya) that reminded me that we (women) are worth what we personally value ourselves. If we don't believe in ourselves, no one will. It was a great discussion on self-worth that caught my attention and I quickly hit the record button on my DVR to watch during quiet time. I was really impressed by Lisa Nichols, a motivational speaker and author of "No Matter What" who reiterated the idea that we are always looking for validation. Women often think that it is not enough to be "just" a mother or "just" a wife. We need to accept it, work on those relationships as hard as you worked for your spot in the corporate office, or teaching classroom or as the head pastry chef in the hot kitchen. Once we have accepted and shoot for success in our roles as mothers and wives, we need to realize that those roles don't complete us and must find other outlets that compliment us. My girlfriends and I, Latinas, White, Black and Asian, are so incredibly lucky to have the options that some of our mothers didn't have. The simple fact that we can continue to educate ourselves while we are at home with our kids, or work from home and simply have the right to decide for ourselves what we wish to do during transitions in our life is fantastic.
I felt so refreshed after watching this Larry King episode because as I have written previously, Jose is in London and when he is gone, I fall into the dumps a little bit but look for and find the "signs" that snap me back and remind me how truly lucky but strong I have become. Thanks Larry!
xoxo,
Betty
Girlfriend, I got your back! (I couldn't help myself)
Earlier this week (or late last week?), I wrote about hurting my back and then I disappeared!. Last weekend I was still out there taking Diego to the Singapore Botanical Gardens, going on long walks to see Merlion the lion and snapping pictures. I had excruciating pain that made me stop on my tracks whenever I moved my left leg forward and pain on my hips that had me convinced I would need a hip replacement before 35!! People, I'm not 15 anymore. Wowsers. Did I hurt my back!! I had a mommy-friend reveal to me that she was a physio-therapist in her past life (before having her 2 kids) and ordered me on bed rest for at least 3 days. After laying around for 2 days and watching Diego go from room to room ready to draw on walls and taking every toy out of the toy box just to watch me bend over and pick it all up, I realized two things: 1) I really needed the rest and 2) people I have known in Singapore for only 3-4 months can truly be called friends.
Kylie, my new physio-therapist, not only offered to talk to me about my injury but she left her 2 children at home with a sitter, brought over her little bag full of tape, pressure-point needles and lavender-scent massage cream to help ease my pain...twice this week. She checked on me every day by phone and has found a chiropractor for me to start seeing next week.
Roisin and Rachel each have a child of their own, tracked across town for me, brought their swimmers and took Diego for a swim one afternoon. They also demanded I pack a bag and spend the night at Roisin's so she can feed me breakfast, lunch and dinner and watch Diego with Rachel's help.
I have known these wonderful women for a good 4 months. We all arrived from Tokyo and Australia to the same serviced apartment around Christmas time last year. The time that was very crazy in our husband's world. We were all grateful to immediately find each other and found that our kids all played well together and everyone seemed sweet enough to start a weekly playgroup and the occasional Sunday brunch with our husbands.
The sad thing is that it is taking us a long time to really get to know each other. When Kylie came over with her knowledge of sport injuries and went on about joints, discs and the muscles around them, I was so embarrassed that I didn't know that this is what she did before she became a mom. We get so caugth up in our new, present life with kids that we forget what we were before! She massaged me, tested several nerves and my flexibility and we chatted all while Diego slept and really started to get to know each other. I vowed that I will try to get to know everyone a little better and didn't ask if she thought 2 hours was too long of a nap for Diego or what she thought of the latest class at Gymboree.
Even as acquaintances, 3 very busy women who worry about preparing the next meal, washing their toddlers hands obsessively, throwing laundry in the washer before hitting the park for the day, have a huge desire to lend a hand to a fellow mom who has family across the world and a husband on a business trip. They don't care if I know how many sugars they like in their coffee or what brand of jeans they are wearing. They don't care if I forgot to mention what I did on my last trip because I already posted it all on Facebook. We all understand that when we see each other, we are there to help each other get through the daily grind and cry if we need to, complain and bitch about husbands working late or mention how sleep deprived we all have been.
I do want to know more about these women. I want to know what their favorite books are and how many siblings they have. And not just because they came to my rescue but because we are all new to Singapore and we are sharing the same experience, away from our childhood friends and our own mothers. We need each other to survive and keep our sanity. So we will start organizing girl's night out and leave the energetic toddlers with daddies so we can talk all evening about us for a change and get to know what really makes us-us.
Kylie, my new physio-therapist, not only offered to talk to me about my injury but she left her 2 children at home with a sitter, brought over her little bag full of tape, pressure-point needles and lavender-scent massage cream to help ease my pain...twice this week. She checked on me every day by phone and has found a chiropractor for me to start seeing next week.
Roisin and Rachel each have a child of their own, tracked across town for me, brought their swimmers and took Diego for a swim one afternoon. They also demanded I pack a bag and spend the night at Roisin's so she can feed me breakfast, lunch and dinner and watch Diego with Rachel's help.
I have known these wonderful women for a good 4 months. We all arrived from Tokyo and Australia to the same serviced apartment around Christmas time last year. The time that was very crazy in our husband's world. We were all grateful to immediately find each other and found that our kids all played well together and everyone seemed sweet enough to start a weekly playgroup and the occasional Sunday brunch with our husbands.
The sad thing is that it is taking us a long time to really get to know each other. When Kylie came over with her knowledge of sport injuries and went on about joints, discs and the muscles around them, I was so embarrassed that I didn't know that this is what she did before she became a mom. We get so caugth up in our new, present life with kids that we forget what we were before! She massaged me, tested several nerves and my flexibility and we chatted all while Diego slept and really started to get to know each other. I vowed that I will try to get to know everyone a little better and didn't ask if she thought 2 hours was too long of a nap for Diego or what she thought of the latest class at Gymboree.
Even as acquaintances, 3 very busy women who worry about preparing the next meal, washing their toddlers hands obsessively, throwing laundry in the washer before hitting the park for the day, have a huge desire to lend a hand to a fellow mom who has family across the world and a husband on a business trip. They don't care if I know how many sugars they like in their coffee or what brand of jeans they are wearing. They don't care if I forgot to mention what I did on my last trip because I already posted it all on Facebook. We all understand that when we see each other, we are there to help each other get through the daily grind and cry if we need to, complain and bitch about husbands working late or mention how sleep deprived we all have been.
I do want to know more about these women. I want to know what their favorite books are and how many siblings they have. And not just because they came to my rescue but because we are all new to Singapore and we are sharing the same experience, away from our childhood friends and our own mothers. We need each other to survive and keep our sanity. So we will start organizing girl's night out and leave the energetic toddlers with daddies so we can talk all evening about us for a change and get to know what really makes us-us.
Forever 2
My big love is away for 3 weeks. Jose was called to go to London while we were enjoying our last day in Phucket. Man, have I been feeling sorry for myself since last Monday. Really, the whole power of the mind is incredible. I was so down, upset, and ruined our last day in Thailand by bickering with Jose and simply being bitchy. I am now suffering from an intense lower back pain and I'm all alone with Diego. Far, far away from any trusty family help. Oh how I miss my mami's calditos right about now. Boo hoo. Karma ya'll. Jose wasn't thrilled to go and I made his last days in Singapore hellish.
Interestingly enough, I have discovered something so amazing, something so fulfilling that makes me want to laugh out loud every 30 minutes or so! Diego is really, really funny!!! He's the best pain killer on the market! I thought for sure my life would be horrible with a 2 year old running around in my desperate hour of need. He has been such a good boy that I realized that the terrible two's have been put on hold for a bit (until Daddy get's back...I'm sure).
We went for a nice walk this morning and I brought my camera along because I have homework. So Diego had to be my model since there is no one else around and he was such a good little boy. I would tell him, "Okay Diego! Run across for Mommy" and he run across and then come to look at my screen to review the shots I had taken.
We then walked to Starbucks to cool off and reward my little model with a banana nut muffin and a nice chocolate chip frap for me (oh, my back!) He sat in his chair and said to me, "escucha"-Beyonce was playing and Diego started to dance in his seat. We danced and didn't care who was looking.
Also this week, for no apparent reason, he just stops what he is doing (usually in the middle of lining up all his hot wheels), looks up and says, "besos Mama". Gets up, comes over with wide arms and kisses me. He then proceeds to walk over and continue his task. I'm just amazed. His love is so great, unconditional, pure and I'm loving it. It's like he knows I'm missing Jose, knows that I'm in pain and knows that I feel lonely.
He's the best little partner anyone can ask for.
xoxo,
Betty
P.s. Man, this is the best shot I got and it's not even great. After taking 130 shots today, 1 works for the 9 required on Thursday. Yikes.
Feeling Cheesy
It has been a long time since I stepped into a classroom. I'm used to being in front of the class, prepared with the daily lesson plans, hoping that I can hold the interest of my students for at least 50 minutes and wanting nothing more than them leaving the class a little inspired.
Yesterday I sat in a 3 1/2 hour photography course and felt so excited to be there. I could have been taking Math 101 and still be excited! I love school. The feeling of walking in to an unknown class room, fresh, blank pages of a notebook, and the new faces make me so happy. I am such a nerd!!
I have to admit that I was a little nervous taking this course. I don't want people to think that I'm a wanna be anything. Not learning anything was also making me a bit nervous. We have to admit that some things are not for everybody. I decided to take the class because Jose and I bought a really nice camera hoping that we could take pictures like our good friend Panos. But people, it doesn't work that way. You just can't buy a camera and wait for good results. Like everything, you have to work at it. The camera is your tool, your instrument. You have to learn how to use it. But the Nikon had a gazillion buttons, an extensive menu and a couple of dials to turn. We were so lost. So I Googled "photography lessons in Singapore" or something and had dozens of choices! I did my research, found a great photographer who had a detailed website, her prices were reasonable and she was a woman (no offense to the men out there).
We started with basics and I won't bore you with those details but after shooting and discussing...guess what? I left the class feeling a different kind of inspiration and it had little to do with photography. I left with an introduction to 7 different human stories. I was inspired by the woman from India, who is in Singapore visiting her sister for 3 months and decided to do something different while on vacation. I was inspired by the retired Singaporean gentleman (and my partner for the day) who has never left Singapore and rather than retiring in front of the television screen, he decided to "take up a hobby". I met another mom. A quiet, South African mother of 3 boys and I couldn't wait to start talking to her.
We had a fantastic time. We modeled for each other, helped each other with the cameras and talked. Everyone (including big, nosey Betty) wants to know, "What brings you to Asia?" You then start to chat it up and voila! New acquaintances! If nothing else, these next 5 weeks will be pleasurable even as I struggle to get those damn macro shots.
xoxo,
Betty
Yesterday I sat in a 3 1/2 hour photography course and felt so excited to be there. I could have been taking Math 101 and still be excited! I love school. The feeling of walking in to an unknown class room, fresh, blank pages of a notebook, and the new faces make me so happy. I am such a nerd!!
I have to admit that I was a little nervous taking this course. I don't want people to think that I'm a wanna be anything. Not learning anything was also making me a bit nervous. We have to admit that some things are not for everybody. I decided to take the class because Jose and I bought a really nice camera hoping that we could take pictures like our good friend Panos. But people, it doesn't work that way. You just can't buy a camera and wait for good results. Like everything, you have to work at it. The camera is your tool, your instrument. You have to learn how to use it. But the Nikon had a gazillion buttons, an extensive menu and a couple of dials to turn. We were so lost. So I Googled "photography lessons in Singapore" or something and had dozens of choices! I did my research, found a great photographer who had a detailed website, her prices were reasonable and she was a woman (no offense to the men out there).
We started with basics and I won't bore you with those details but after shooting and discussing...guess what? I left the class feeling a different kind of inspiration and it had little to do with photography. I left with an introduction to 7 different human stories. I was inspired by the woman from India, who is in Singapore visiting her sister for 3 months and decided to do something different while on vacation. I was inspired by the retired Singaporean gentleman (and my partner for the day) who has never left Singapore and rather than retiring in front of the television screen, he decided to "take up a hobby". I met another mom. A quiet, South African mother of 3 boys and I couldn't wait to start talking to her.
We had a fantastic time. We modeled for each other, helped each other with the cameras and talked. Everyone (including big, nosey Betty) wants to know, "What brings you to Asia?" You then start to chat it up and voila! New acquaintances! If nothing else, these next 5 weeks will be pleasurable even as I struggle to get those damn macro shots.
xoxo,
Betty
To quote the famous...
“When you travel, you experience, in a very practical way, the act of rebirth. You confront completely new situations, the day passes more slowly, and on most journeys you don’t even understand the language the people speak. So you are like a child just out of the womb. You begin to attach much more importance to the things around you because your survival depends on them. You begin to be more accessible to others because they may be able to help you in difficult situations. And you accept any small favor from the gods with great delight, as if it were an episode you would remember for the rest of your life. At the same time, since all things are new, you see only the beauty in them, and you feel happy to be alive…” The Pilgrimage-Paulo Coelho
People of Phucket
Packed the Lonely Planet? Check. Sunscreen? Check. Beach toys? Check!! We try not to be complete tourists but I always manage to have every single minute planned while on vacation. Planned so accurately, down to timing my tanning sessions (30 minutes? Time to flip!). But one does need to put everything away, get away from the sandy, white, beach resort, go down to the town and when you snap a few pictures, don't forget to look up from your lense and take it all in.
The famous Patong Beach Road. Full of tourists, locals, street vendors, bars and loud music.
This happy vendor was watching the Manchester United match that was on a bar's big screen.
Bananas?
These carriers seemed very heavy!
This man was walking super slow. He was carrying eggs after all!
The famous Patong Beach Road. Full of tourists, locals, street vendors, bars and loud music.
This happy vendor was watching the Manchester United match that was on a bar's big screen.
Bananas?
These carriers seemed very heavy!
This man was walking super slow. He was carrying eggs after all!
Hablas Español?
Just got back from Phucket! Thailand was amazing!!! It was a short trip and we hope to go back soon because the country seems to offer soooooo much!!
As always, we hear the beautiful Spanish language in its unique accents and even little Diego's ears perk up. We met a really nice Argentino and his girlfriend on the beach. They have been dating long distance because she lives in Bangkok and he lives in Shanghai. They asked us a lot of questions about living in Asia and wondered if it was difficult to live abroad (more like without family!) and have a child? I always think its cute and wonderful when couples contemplate having babies in front of us. They look at Diego with such wonder and admiration and bombard us with questions that we welcome and love to answer. The best is when they look at each other and smile as if asking, "Can we do this? Even if we are abroad??" In my experience, it has made me stronger, happier and grounded. It has also made me more adventurous, a little rebellious and smarter (learning tons of new Spanish words for Diego and did you know that a beaver is "castor" in Spanish?) We said goodbye and good luck to our new friends. With everything new in Asia, one holds on to the hope that the moment just experienced, will linger in your memory and heart for a long time.
That same day, we left the safe cocoon of our hidden hotel and drove 30 minutes to the happening Padong Beach where the nightlife is colorful and CRAZY!!! I didn't think I would be chatting it up with trannies (gorgeous and stylish Thai trannies) and street hustlers dropping iguanas on Diego's lap for a picture and a buck. Just as we were thinking, "Should we have come down here with Diego?" we hear Spanish again and the 3 of us stop devouring our hot and spicy green curry and turn to meet a Spaniard who introduced his wife and 2 gorgeous sons. They were vacationing from Shanghai and thought it was perfectly normal to follow the crowd at night with their 2 year old and 3 month old. This time, Jose and I were the ones in awe wondering how in the world a couple can travel from Shanghai with 2 little boys and just hang out in Padong Beach?? It was our turn to contemplate having another child and asking them a hundred questions about how they manage, do they have help and how often does family visit...??
It's so much fun to get out there and meet new people. And just to set the record straight, we don't stalk every Spanish speaking person!!! You can see it in people's eyes that they too are happy to hear their language in a far away place like the middle of Asia. For us, it always makes us feel a little closer to home. Helping each other in the smallest way goes so far. Just to be able to have a conversation about what you are passionate about is so worth interrupting someone's relaxing time on the beach or private dinner to ask, "hablas español?".
Betty
As always, we hear the beautiful Spanish language in its unique accents and even little Diego's ears perk up. We met a really nice Argentino and his girlfriend on the beach. They have been dating long distance because she lives in Bangkok and he lives in Shanghai. They asked us a lot of questions about living in Asia and wondered if it was difficult to live abroad (more like without family!) and have a child? I always think its cute and wonderful when couples contemplate having babies in front of us. They look at Diego with such wonder and admiration and bombard us with questions that we welcome and love to answer. The best is when they look at each other and smile as if asking, "Can we do this? Even if we are abroad??" In my experience, it has made me stronger, happier and grounded. It has also made me more adventurous, a little rebellious and smarter (learning tons of new Spanish words for Diego and did you know that a beaver is "castor" in Spanish?) We said goodbye and good luck to our new friends. With everything new in Asia, one holds on to the hope that the moment just experienced, will linger in your memory and heart for a long time.
That same day, we left the safe cocoon of our hidden hotel and drove 30 minutes to the happening Padong Beach where the nightlife is colorful and CRAZY!!! I didn't think I would be chatting it up with trannies (gorgeous and stylish Thai trannies) and street hustlers dropping iguanas on Diego's lap for a picture and a buck. Just as we were thinking, "Should we have come down here with Diego?" we hear Spanish again and the 3 of us stop devouring our hot and spicy green curry and turn to meet a Spaniard who introduced his wife and 2 gorgeous sons. They were vacationing from Shanghai and thought it was perfectly normal to follow the crowd at night with their 2 year old and 3 month old. This time, Jose and I were the ones in awe wondering how in the world a couple can travel from Shanghai with 2 little boys and just hang out in Padong Beach?? It was our turn to contemplate having another child and asking them a hundred questions about how they manage, do they have help and how often does family visit...??
It's so much fun to get out there and meet new people. And just to set the record straight, we don't stalk every Spanish speaking person!!! You can see it in people's eyes that they too are happy to hear their language in a far away place like the middle of Asia. For us, it always makes us feel a little closer to home. Helping each other in the smallest way goes so far. Just to be able to have a conversation about what you are passionate about is so worth interrupting someone's relaxing time on the beach or private dinner to ask, "hablas español?".
Betty
To quote the famous...
...Nathaniel Hawthorne, "Easy reading is damn hard writing."
What did I get myself into? Didn't I say a few entries ago that I obsess? I obsess about everything and I'm completely aware but fed up with it. This time, I have put myself out here, have created this blog that I can't wait to decorate with cool pics and bright colors and lots and lots of writing. I didn't say cool writing or good writing. I'm not going to even say decent writing. Just paint and spread lots of flowing words. It is my daily activity now. If I don't put something on here one day, it is guaranteed that I will use my pretty little pink journal with the soft orange flower delicately placed on top. There is even a satin orange tie that goes around it so as if to say, "Please keep private. It is for non-blogging purposes only". But, this task hasn't been easy at all.
When I was 10 or 11, my mother bought me my first diary. I couldn't wait to fill its shimmery pink pages decorated with light blue stars and use different color pens. It had a little lock on it and it came with 2 keys. My mother encouraged me to write and respected the fact that I wanted this to be private. I was really worried that my brother, with whom I shared a bedroom, would snoop around and read my diary. Of course, he couldn't have cared less what his annoying little sister could be writing about. He was off in his own world and I really had nothing to fear. But because even at this young age I was obsessed and paranoid that I couldn't be good enough, after just one entry, I took a look at what I had written and could clearly see that I sucked. I knew that I would never write again.
What I wrote about was an observation I had made that day in our little neighborhood of 26th Street (Little Village) in Chicago. There was a police chase. A gang member was been chased down the block of 24th and Drake, where we lived and I played with my best friend, Fela. All the kids of the block were out there playing. Some of us were on roller skates, some playing baseball and others on the steps with Barbie dolls or G.I Joes. It was as noisy as a public park would be. We didn't go to the park; all of our moms would watch us through the windows as they finished making dinner. So during this moment of the chase, it was a bit louder than usual. We could hear voices getting closer and closer. Not Spanish voices, English, manly voices and lots of yelling. Behind me I could hear footsteps approaching louder and louder. Literally 2 steps away from me, to my left, I see a young guy, maybe in his 20's being tackled, American-football style, by an enormous police man and a shiny black object catapulting in the air, over my head and landing in la Señora Ofelia's bushes.
Everything else after that happened very fast. There were policemen everywhere and mothers and fathers came quickly to gather all of us kids but we all watched on our porch a gun being collected (all so official) from behind our neighbor's bushes. All I could think about was how fortunate for me that I just had a super cool thing happen-I almost died!!! And it was very exciting because I didn't die and I had a shiny new diary waiting for interesting entries describing my fascinating life and this particular entry would be an excellent way to start!!
Boy, was I wrong. I couldn't put on paper the rush, the emotions, the elation of the day. I just couldn't do it and when I read what I managed to write I was so disappointed. You see I was an avid reader at this age. I wanted to sound like the Judy Blume’s of the world. Very desperately I wanted to be good at writing. Without any understanding of the process, I just gave up.
Now, 20 years later, I have let some people in on my love/hate interest so I can't give up. It is a way to make me sit here during Diego's daily nap and for an hour or so I must write. I'll let people in on the "why" of writing on another day. Gotta save some material for the next time :-)For 20 years I have had this little nagging voice inside my head, during spelling bee competitions, during A.P English class, during Shakespeare seminars, during teaching literature and I would just push it away and say, no way.
So even if it sucks, here you have it. I hear a little voice coming from a little bedroom down the hall...THAT definitely cannot wait. :-)
Besos,
Betty
What did I get myself into? Didn't I say a few entries ago that I obsess? I obsess about everything and I'm completely aware but fed up with it. This time, I have put myself out here, have created this blog that I can't wait to decorate with cool pics and bright colors and lots and lots of writing. I didn't say cool writing or good writing. I'm not going to even say decent writing. Just paint and spread lots of flowing words. It is my daily activity now. If I don't put something on here one day, it is guaranteed that I will use my pretty little pink journal with the soft orange flower delicately placed on top. There is even a satin orange tie that goes around it so as if to say, "Please keep private. It is for non-blogging purposes only". But, this task hasn't been easy at all.
When I was 10 or 11, my mother bought me my first diary. I couldn't wait to fill its shimmery pink pages decorated with light blue stars and use different color pens. It had a little lock on it and it came with 2 keys. My mother encouraged me to write and respected the fact that I wanted this to be private. I was really worried that my brother, with whom I shared a bedroom, would snoop around and read my diary. Of course, he couldn't have cared less what his annoying little sister could be writing about. He was off in his own world and I really had nothing to fear. But because even at this young age I was obsessed and paranoid that I couldn't be good enough, after just one entry, I took a look at what I had written and could clearly see that I sucked. I knew that I would never write again.
What I wrote about was an observation I had made that day in our little neighborhood of 26th Street (Little Village) in Chicago. There was a police chase. A gang member was been chased down the block of 24th and Drake, where we lived and I played with my best friend, Fela. All the kids of the block were out there playing. Some of us were on roller skates, some playing baseball and others on the steps with Barbie dolls or G.I Joes. It was as noisy as a public park would be. We didn't go to the park; all of our moms would watch us through the windows as they finished making dinner. So during this moment of the chase, it was a bit louder than usual. We could hear voices getting closer and closer. Not Spanish voices, English, manly voices and lots of yelling. Behind me I could hear footsteps approaching louder and louder. Literally 2 steps away from me, to my left, I see a young guy, maybe in his 20's being tackled, American-football style, by an enormous police man and a shiny black object catapulting in the air, over my head and landing in la Señora Ofelia's bushes.
Everything else after that happened very fast. There were policemen everywhere and mothers and fathers came quickly to gather all of us kids but we all watched on our porch a gun being collected (all so official) from behind our neighbor's bushes. All I could think about was how fortunate for me that I just had a super cool thing happen-I almost died!!! And it was very exciting because I didn't die and I had a shiny new diary waiting for interesting entries describing my fascinating life and this particular entry would be an excellent way to start!!
Boy, was I wrong. I couldn't put on paper the rush, the emotions, the elation of the day. I just couldn't do it and when I read what I managed to write I was so disappointed. You see I was an avid reader at this age. I wanted to sound like the Judy Blume’s of the world. Very desperately I wanted to be good at writing. Without any understanding of the process, I just gave up.
Now, 20 years later, I have let some people in on my love/hate interest so I can't give up. It is a way to make me sit here during Diego's daily nap and for an hour or so I must write. I'll let people in on the "why" of writing on another day. Gotta save some material for the next time :-)For 20 years I have had this little nagging voice inside my head, during spelling bee competitions, during A.P English class, during Shakespeare seminars, during teaching literature and I would just push it away and say, no way.
So even if it sucks, here you have it. I hear a little voice coming from a little bedroom down the hall...THAT definitely cannot wait. :-)
Besos,
Betty
Deuce
There is no question that it will rain at least once a day here in Singapore. It could be really early in the morning (just as Jose is walking to the bus) or late at night and waking little Diego.But it is only a quick downpour that we come to expect daily and Singaporeans go on with their island living. We see people play volleyball on the beach, riding bikes, or swimming. Everyone seems to be really healthy and fit. So Jose and I decided we would take advantage of the year-round summer weather and learn to play tennis.
Last night was our first lesson here in our building (sounds really posh but every building in Singapore has at least one court) and it didn't go TOO bad! We thought this activity would be a cool way of spicing things up without it always including a drink or two. Every Tuesday will now be tennis/date night.
After the first 15 minutes I thought maybe we should stick to dinner and drinks. I didn't start off that great and felt so clumsy. Those of you who know me know why I stuck to Cross Country in high school...only individual sports for me thank you. Tennis is a lot harder than it looks!! But after our first drill, Jose was talking like he was Pete Sampras. He kept interrupting the coach and telling me what he thought I should do! Of course I was so annoyed but didn't want to say anything in front of the coach...yet. I knew Jose would continue and finally I told him to stop. I yelled, "We have a coach Jose, let him do his job!" So I didn't hear from Jose again. Everytime we had an individual drill as a one-one-one with the coach, Jose would go off and really not pay any attention to me. Once I started to get the hang of things, I turned to see if Jose was watching my improvement but he wasn' t looking. He was off hitting the ball against the wall. Clearly, I was annoyed again. I wanted to show him that I was having fun but it was too late because I embarrassed him and made him feel bad when all he wanted to do was help. We talked as we picked up the balls.
Not only did the coach show us how to properly hold the racket and how to tap the ball but he also had a few words at the end of the lesson that I believe is good for tennis beginners and relationships:
"Be gentle and patient."
"If you deliver it well, she will return it."
"Ladies like it when you start off slow and the rhythm will be natural."
"Play easy and don't be to hard on each other."
and my favorite...
"Keep practicing...the more you do something, the better it gets."
Even if we suck at tennis I know we don't suck at our relationship. And I'm not going to give up on either. As a plus for both of us, Jose promised I could get a cute tennis skirt AFTER we learn to play a real game.
Wink,
Betty
So Sad
I often thank my lucky stars not to be bombared with horrible local news from Chicago or New York. It's just so depressing. But once in a while a story that hits real close to home makes it to the international news and today when I had CNN on, I almost wished I wasn't watching.
A 15 year old boy in Chicago, Alex Arellano, was beaten with bats, hit by a car, shot in the head and burned on Saturday by a gang. His family claims that he wasn't in a gang and was out of school since September because he was bullied.
Alex also happened to have a learning disability...and he wasn't in school since September? What is happening in Chicago? His family wanted to send him off to another school but his family had financial problems.
We can't hear a story like this without wanting to put the blame on someone. A way of making sense of this horrific situation. Everything from beginning to end; not being in school, the boys who did this, the actual crime, it just doesn't make sense.
In a taxi today, the driver asked me where I was from. I answered that I am Mexican-American. We talked a little about the swine flu and he went on to say that Mexico was still beautiful in his eyes. He might have seen my hesitation to talk about Mexico because of all the recent negative attention. But he said that Singaporeans have this attitude of peacefulness and they don't like to blame. It made me think about Alex and how quickly I wanted to blame his mother, the teachers, the gang members the community leaders. He went on to talk about how things just happen. But I don't think that in this situation things "just" happen. I want to blame someone for poor Alex.
Anderson Cooper went on to say that this is the 34th student-victim of crime in the city of Chicago in this school year alone. Up 7 from last year. A board member was quoted saying that it was an insult to the families to put a number on the victims.
I could go off on many tangents with this one but don't we need to be aware?
What is happening in Chicago?
A 15 year old boy in Chicago, Alex Arellano, was beaten with bats, hit by a car, shot in the head and burned on Saturday by a gang. His family claims that he wasn't in a gang and was out of school since September because he was bullied.
Alex also happened to have a learning disability...and he wasn't in school since September? What is happening in Chicago? His family wanted to send him off to another school but his family had financial problems.
We can't hear a story like this without wanting to put the blame on someone. A way of making sense of this horrific situation. Everything from beginning to end; not being in school, the boys who did this, the actual crime, it just doesn't make sense.
In a taxi today, the driver asked me where I was from. I answered that I am Mexican-American. We talked a little about the swine flu and he went on to say that Mexico was still beautiful in his eyes. He might have seen my hesitation to talk about Mexico because of all the recent negative attention. But he said that Singaporeans have this attitude of peacefulness and they don't like to blame. It made me think about Alex and how quickly I wanted to blame his mother, the teachers, the gang members the community leaders. He went on to talk about how things just happen. But I don't think that in this situation things "just" happen. I want to blame someone for poor Alex.
Anderson Cooper went on to say that this is the 34th student-victim of crime in the city of Chicago in this school year alone. Up 7 from last year. A board member was quoted saying that it was an insult to the families to put a number on the victims.
I could go off on many tangents with this one but don't we need to be aware?
What is happening in Chicago?
Ahora si, pelo bueno
A lifetime ago I joined the super talented and super sexy lunaticas of Teatro Luna in Chicago. We did an amazing piece for The Maria Chronicles that was developed by the girls of TL for a previous performance. The piece was called "Pelo Bueno Pelo Malo".
I never understood the phrase "pelo malo" or "bad hair" as a generic stereotype for Latina women of color. As a Mexican woman with fair skin, my hair was never the topic of any conversation in my family. So according to the TL girls, I learned that I had "pelo bueno".
I think that it would make the girls of Teatro Luna laugh to know that what we considered to be "pelo bueno" in Singapore it's actually "pelo malo". Such bad, frizzy hair and always in a ponytail, this Mexican girl couldn't find a solution to help with the intense humidity and heat. But then an Irish friend stated she was going to the hair salon to get her hair permanently straightened. I couldn't believe it! My Japanese friend told me that it was true. She said I would come out of the shower, comb it and be done! I could have perfectly straigth hair all the time despite the 90 percent humidity days.
So yes, I decided I was going to go Asian and have beautiful and straight and shiny hair like the Singaporeans, Koreans, Chinese and Japanese. And so I'm sitting next to my friend Roisin at the hair salon and 5 hours later (and 355 Sing dollars) I have "pelo bueno" again! I laughed and looked around, I'm sure I was the only Latina in this "western" hair salon. But I didn't care. I know who I am and I know I don't want to walk around with frizzy hair anymore.
Working with the girls at Teatro Luna taught me so much about everything. Compassion, awareness, similarities and differences. Compassion for the women and stories that they shared, awareness of cultures and "costumbres" in our Spanish speaking community. And all of that makes us the same and different. I am so quick to turn around when I hear a Spanish voice at the grocery store here in Singapore. I want to know about this person and what brought her to Asia. Con pelo bueno o malo, I know I know her.
If you're in Chicago, you have to check these ladies out! http://www.teatroluna.org/
Besos,
Betty
Mayday! Mayday!
Aahhh, the long 3 day weekend of fun, family and the usual BBQ's. It is May Day (Labor Day) weekend here in Singapore and it was...boring. Lonely actually. Lonely and a bit depressing.
On Friday we did a little lunch and shopping at Suntec City. On Saturday we did a littly lunch at Oomphatico's at Tanglin Mall where Jose ate the oysters and got food poisoning!! Today, Jose felt much better so we went off to another lunch at Canele in Raffles City Mall. You see what I see? We ate and window shopped ALL weekend long. Alone. Poor whiny Diego was not having it. We were not having it. But we did have plans. We had a birthday party to go to and were going to see the whole parent group with whom we hang out but the little boy was sick and it got cancelled. You know that if we were back home and these were all Mexicans, the party would have gone on!! "Porque hay carne asada y ordenamos el pastel!"As a matter of fact, we would have seen these Mexicans all weekend long!!!
Our other friends were off to the Philippines somewhere so they were not around and another couple had parents in town. You see, this is what happens when you live far, far away. But I promised that this blog would only be about the pleasant and positive things in life so I am not complaining. I'm just missing. Missing my people.
Positive outlook and pleasant thoughts: a great partner to keep you company when you are missing home- is all you need. We must also plan accordingly next weekend...not bragging or anything but we are going to THAILAND!!!!
Besos,
Betty
On Friday we did a little lunch and shopping at Suntec City. On Saturday we did a littly lunch at Oomphatico's at Tanglin Mall where Jose ate the oysters and got food poisoning!! Today, Jose felt much better so we went off to another lunch at Canele in Raffles City Mall. You see what I see? We ate and window shopped ALL weekend long. Alone. Poor whiny Diego was not having it. We were not having it. But we did have plans. We had a birthday party to go to and were going to see the whole parent group with whom we hang out but the little boy was sick and it got cancelled. You know that if we were back home and these were all Mexicans, the party would have gone on!! "Porque hay carne asada y ordenamos el pastel!"As a matter of fact, we would have seen these Mexicans all weekend long!!!
Our other friends were off to the Philippines somewhere so they were not around and another couple had parents in town. You see, this is what happens when you live far, far away. But I promised that this blog would only be about the pleasant and positive things in life so I am not complaining. I'm just missing. Missing my people.
Positive outlook and pleasant thoughts: a great partner to keep you company when you are missing home- is all you need. We must also plan accordingly next weekend...not bragging or anything but we are going to THAILAND!!!!
Besos,
Betty
