I carefully selected my outfit on Saturday morning. I wanted to look good, but not like I was trying too hard. The day was cool, windy and cloudy. Not a great day to meet outside but it was the first date and we chose a public spot. Despite my nervousness, I didn’t want to bail because I was really looking forward to this day. I kept glancing at my phone. I was waiting for a text message. Thinking, “Is it too early to confirm?” I avoided Jose’s looks. I didn’t want him to notice my anxiety. I gave him a brush of a kiss goodbye and left the house quickly, avoiding further conversation. On the way there I thought, “Would we hit it off? I hope we have things in common. The day we met, we seemed to really get along. I hope she really likes me!”
Yes, friends, “I hope she really likes me”. I feel like I’m dating again! Diego and I were on our way to the first play date at the park and I was so nervous I forgot his snack and his hat! But please don’t feel sorry for me! I don’t want to seem desperate. It just takes a lot of work these days to make friends.
Most of you already know that we have moved around a bit and have come back to the States, but not our home town. Making new friends is never easy! It is even harder to make friends if you are an adult! Back in Tokyo, I was fortunate enough to be working while I was pregnant. Work=instant friends (not with all but some). For example, Jose made a good friend at work whose wife was pregnant and there you go…instant friends. We then attended a childbirth class and met the cutest couple. We shared so many things in common …instant friends. It’s not so easy anymore.
Women who are married to expats in foreign countries usually don’t work. They have put their careers on hold because it isn’t so easy to attain a working visa in a foreign country. So when you arrive, there are loads of women sitting at the park or taking the kids to Gymboree, just waiting to bombard you with questions about your child, your husband, and your country. You find things in common, if you like each other…instant friends. If not, don’t worry, there are plenty more at another park or another class!
Not so much here. I joked around to Jose and some of his single guy friends (we do have single and childless friends in New York) that I was going to write a book titled, “I Have 289 Friends on Facebook-Yet I’m So Lonely” they laughed. I almost cried.
So, it’s been about 3 months that we moved here and I know that it takes time. A lot of women work here, including my childhood friend, Ofelia, let’s just say I know a lot of the nannies in my neighborhood!
But Saturday went well! This girl I met is really sweet, Latina, a teacher and also from out of town. Her son is a few months younger than Diego and they played really well together… AND, she doesn’t work either! I’m hoping for…instant friendship but as Socrates once said, “Be slow to fall into friendship; but when thou art in, continue firm and constant”. It’s not easy making friends, they come with responsibility, commitment and a lot of effort. But one needs friends to survive, especially in a new place. Sometimes it’s effortless and you can spot another lonely soul at the grocery store struggling with her 2 year old, sometimes it’s not obvious but I just smile, hold my chin up and keep on enjoying what I do have…I call the friends I already have (with kids or without).
Xoxo,
Betty
Showing posts with label Friends. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Friends. Show all posts
Addicted
When my friend Laila spent some time with us in New York, she introduced me to MySpace. This was about 4 years ago and I laughed at her and said that the site was for kids (I had no idea that its original purpose was to share music and introduce new bands via the web). My sister was on MySpace and she is twelve years younger than me! So I clearly said, "no thanks" and continued to bother my dear friend when she logged in every night. Laila had just moved to New York and she was staying with Jose and I while we prepared to leave for Tokyo. Laila was using MySpace to stay in touch with her friends and family in Chicago and it was her little treat every night before going to bed.
When we moved to Tokyo, I emailed Laila and said, "Sorry for the teasing. You win...I'm joining. How does this work?" I decided to join MySpace because it was expensive to call home and I was clearly missing everyone. I had a need to see what everyone was up to. On my side I could update everyone quickly by posting pictures, displaying a pregnancy countdown and giving everyone a daily update on our life abroad.
Today, I can not live without my laptop. I'm thinking of buying a smaller one so I can write on-the-go and because I'm addicted to and also can not live without Facebook, Perez Hilton.com for daily Hollywood (and sometimes non-Hollywood) gossip and this blog of course. Unfortunately, there isn't much time for everything so I have given up on MySpace, rarely update Diego's Baby Jellybean website and no longer use Kodak Gallery (unless I want to order a gift for the the grandparents). Things change quickly huh? This has been my relationship with these sites in the past three and a half years and I haven't been that faithful to any! What will outlive everything else? Is Facebook on its way out too? What else will capture our interest besides Twitter? I can not live without my Facebook and it shows.
This week I was a Facebook junkie. I knew that 3 of my dearest friends/family members were celebrating 3 bridal showers and only 1 had pictures up! I was so disappointed! Living abroad and having these sites means there is no excuse for slow updates! I need to connect faster and sometimes forget that everyone else back home is in no hurry since they attended the parties! Nevertheless, I check every time I get a chance to see if my friend's friends have posted something!! Sad! (But thanks to Lis for always being super organized and adding to my daily dose)!
But, soon enough I won't be missing any of the parties. Only 2 more weeks and my addiction will come to an end. I should start withdrawing soon. Goodbye Perez, I will have the E! channel and Access Hollywood again! Hello iPhone!! Can not wait to give updates from anywhere and everywhere! And goodbye blog about me in Asia! I will be blogging about going back home and about living in New York City! I will make sure to attend all the best parties and quickly posting for my friends here in Asia and around the world! I promise to always keep in touch with the speediest, most advanced technology offered as I will always know what it really means to be away from "home".
xoxo,
Betty
When we moved to Tokyo, I emailed Laila and said, "Sorry for the teasing. You win...I'm joining. How does this work?" I decided to join MySpace because it was expensive to call home and I was clearly missing everyone. I had a need to see what everyone was up to. On my side I could update everyone quickly by posting pictures, displaying a pregnancy countdown and giving everyone a daily update on our life abroad.
Today, I can not live without my laptop. I'm thinking of buying a smaller one so I can write on-the-go and because I'm addicted to and also can not live without Facebook, Perez Hilton.com for daily Hollywood (and sometimes non-Hollywood) gossip and this blog of course. Unfortunately, there isn't much time for everything so I have given up on MySpace, rarely update Diego's Baby Jellybean website and no longer use Kodak Gallery (unless I want to order a gift for the the grandparents). Things change quickly huh? This has been my relationship with these sites in the past three and a half years and I haven't been that faithful to any! What will outlive everything else? Is Facebook on its way out too? What else will capture our interest besides Twitter? I can not live without my Facebook and it shows.
This week I was a Facebook junkie. I knew that 3 of my dearest friends/family members were celebrating 3 bridal showers and only 1 had pictures up! I was so disappointed! Living abroad and having these sites means there is no excuse for slow updates! I need to connect faster and sometimes forget that everyone else back home is in no hurry since they attended the parties! Nevertheless, I check every time I get a chance to see if my friend's friends have posted something!! Sad! (But thanks to Lis for always being super organized and adding to my daily dose)!
But, soon enough I won't be missing any of the parties. Only 2 more weeks and my addiction will come to an end. I should start withdrawing soon. Goodbye Perez, I will have the E! channel and Access Hollywood again! Hello iPhone!! Can not wait to give updates from anywhere and everywhere! And goodbye blog about me in Asia! I will be blogging about going back home and about living in New York City! I will make sure to attend all the best parties and quickly posting for my friends here in Asia and around the world! I promise to always keep in touch with the speediest, most advanced technology offered as I will always know what it really means to be away from "home".
xoxo,
Betty
A Little Visit
Dear Ms. Rachel,
We hope you had a wonderful flight. Below is the itinerary for your stay at Hotel Galvan-Singapore. Your complete comfort and relaxation is our utmost priority. We cannot express enough how delighted we are that you have chosen our hotel for your holiday in paradise.
Your holiday starts off with a trip to Spa Botanica in Sentosa Beach via Taxi. You have a lovely Balinese Massage scheduled for Sunday, June 14th at 11:15am for the duration of 60 minutes. Your gorgeous friend Betty will be accompanying you and will receive a Swedish massage for the duration of 60 minutes (in the adjacent room per your request). A trip on the famous Cable Cars to view the skyline of Singapore is also scheduled after a grand lunch in Vivo City.
On Tuesday, June 16th at 10:00 am you will be headed to Great World City and visit the lovely Jantzen Salon to meet Singaporean Jenny who is an experienced "gaijin" hair technician. She will consult you before starting your color and cut and make sure that you entertain yourself with the weekly "glossies" while she primps and pampers you.
You have a delicious dinner scheduled on Saturday night at Amici Italian Restaurant in Holland Village. Due to unforeseen and last minute birthday celebration for our dear friend, Roisin, we needed to postpone the famous Chili Crab night at the Palm Beach restaurant for Tuesday night. We hope this change in schedule does not inconvenience you dear guest. You will have a splendid time with our fabulous Irish, English, and Australian friends (plus you will have rocking hair for the chili crabs on Tuesday night).
Please do not hesitate to request changes to the itinerary. We are more than pleased to honor all that your heart pleases. Time has been allotted for plenty of sun, swims and shopping!
We hope you enjoy your stay.
Sincerely,
Betty Velasco-Galvan
President and CFO of Hotel Galvan-Singapore
P.s Your usual Sunshine Whole Grain Raisin Bread and Philadelphia Cream Cheese have been ordered.
Our chef is also working very hard to obtain the Original Chex Mix (always in high demand here in Singapore along with the Honey Nut Cheerios).
A Little Feedback Please
When I wrote about the cookies a few posts ago, I remember writing a line about my obsession with new ideas. I take hobbies, activities and even career changes to an obsession. I surround my life with everything that has to do with my current state of mind. Currently, 3 new and beautiful pink covered books lie neatly stacked on my end table with recipes for gorgeous cakes, crusty pies and chocolaty brownies. Cylinder cans lie spilling out a green meadow of tennis balls over my white marble floor thanks to Diego's determination to have them race each other. With my writing I am enveloped with extraordinary writing guides recommended by artistic friends and I'm re-reading novels by my favorite authors. Every line I read stands out a little bit more clearly. Sentences seem to speak to me. I feel like I can identify with every novel I read. Magazines are littered in every room and I don't leave my house without reading material in by bag in case I have to wait for the chiropractor or in case Diego falls asleep in his stroller. But with all my obsessions, friends have always been supportive. A cheerleading squad with "You Can Do It!" signs flashing my way. Friends never said, "I know you can do better." Until now.
Not one of my friends said much when I decided to stop teaching and decide to work in the spa industry in New York City. After my disastrous attempt at trying to open up a spa, I started answering phones at a spa. My friends never said, "You shouldn't be a receptionist at a spa! Get back to teaching!" And even if they did think it, they never said it. Perhaps they knew I would keep growing and they hoped that I hook them up with a 90 minute Odyssey Ayurvedic massage and throw in a Darshana Balancing facial! With the writing it has been different. Friends have started to really tell me what they think. Jose uses the same line after reading a post, "You need more details”. I’m working on it honey! A girlfriend recommended that I visit another blog that her friend writes for some ideas and wrote me an awesome email with feedback and ideas. Another girlfriend blatantly told me that I could do better. She even said, "You are holding back. When you can write about everything, the real stuff, the raw stuff, then you have become a writer."
I never said that I wanted to be a writer because (here it goes) because I'm scared. I don't even really know what I would like to write about. Certainly not a novel. A few months ago I had an urge to write and decided to write about my experiences in Asia because many people suggested I should! But here's what I noticed: I didn't mind the advice and the suggestions. I checked my ego at the door! And if that doesn't count for something than I don't know what does! For the first time, I'm not "Little Miss Know it All". I'm helplessly vulnerable-putting myself out there-not worried (ok maybe just a little bit) about what people are going to think. Okay, I worry a lot about what people are going to think. But, I'm comfortable and ready to let everyone guide me.
Friends guide you when they know you are truly struggling. Friends guide you when they know what you truly want to achieve. They know when you are challenged and feel defeated. Great friends really know you, period. When you go through phases in life it's just "living". When you are passionate about something it is life. My friends know I’m ready to live my life. So I’ll take the suggestions (even the ones that sting a little). Because of you dear friends I will become a better something-even if it is not a writer.
Xoxo,
Betty
P.s. Thank you to my cheerleader friends who read every post and hold up “You Can Do It” signs. I love you too.
Not one of my friends said much when I decided to stop teaching and decide to work in the spa industry in New York City. After my disastrous attempt at trying to open up a spa, I started answering phones at a spa. My friends never said, "You shouldn't be a receptionist at a spa! Get back to teaching!" And even if they did think it, they never said it. Perhaps they knew I would keep growing and they hoped that I hook them up with a 90 minute Odyssey Ayurvedic massage and throw in a Darshana Balancing facial! With the writing it has been different. Friends have started to really tell me what they think. Jose uses the same line after reading a post, "You need more details”. I’m working on it honey! A girlfriend recommended that I visit another blog that her friend writes for some ideas and wrote me an awesome email with feedback and ideas. Another girlfriend blatantly told me that I could do better. She even said, "You are holding back. When you can write about everything, the real stuff, the raw stuff, then you have become a writer."
I never said that I wanted to be a writer because (here it goes) because I'm scared. I don't even really know what I would like to write about. Certainly not a novel. A few months ago I had an urge to write and decided to write about my experiences in Asia because many people suggested I should! But here's what I noticed: I didn't mind the advice and the suggestions. I checked my ego at the door! And if that doesn't count for something than I don't know what does! For the first time, I'm not "Little Miss Know it All". I'm helplessly vulnerable-putting myself out there-not worried (ok maybe just a little bit) about what people are going to think. Okay, I worry a lot about what people are going to think. But, I'm comfortable and ready to let everyone guide me.
Friends guide you when they know you are truly struggling. Friends guide you when they know what you truly want to achieve. They know when you are challenged and feel defeated. Great friends really know you, period. When you go through phases in life it's just "living". When you are passionate about something it is life. My friends know I’m ready to live my life. So I’ll take the suggestions (even the ones that sting a little). Because of you dear friends I will become a better something-even if it is not a writer.
Xoxo,
Betty
P.s. Thank you to my cheerleader friends who read every post and hold up “You Can Do It” signs. I love you too.
Girlfriend, I got your back! (I couldn't help myself)
Earlier this week (or late last week?), I wrote about hurting my back and then I disappeared!. Last weekend I was still out there taking Diego to the Singapore Botanical Gardens, going on long walks to see Merlion the lion and snapping pictures. I had excruciating pain that made me stop on my tracks whenever I moved my left leg forward and pain on my hips that had me convinced I would need a hip replacement before 35!! People, I'm not 15 anymore. Wowsers. Did I hurt my back!! I had a mommy-friend reveal to me that she was a physio-therapist in her past life (before having her 2 kids) and ordered me on bed rest for at least 3 days. After laying around for 2 days and watching Diego go from room to room ready to draw on walls and taking every toy out of the toy box just to watch me bend over and pick it all up, I realized two things: 1) I really needed the rest and 2) people I have known in Singapore for only 3-4 months can truly be called friends.
Kylie, my new physio-therapist, not only offered to talk to me about my injury but she left her 2 children at home with a sitter, brought over her little bag full of tape, pressure-point needles and lavender-scent massage cream to help ease my pain...twice this week. She checked on me every day by phone and has found a chiropractor for me to start seeing next week.
Roisin and Rachel each have a child of their own, tracked across town for me, brought their swimmers and took Diego for a swim one afternoon. They also demanded I pack a bag and spend the night at Roisin's so she can feed me breakfast, lunch and dinner and watch Diego with Rachel's help.
I have known these wonderful women for a good 4 months. We all arrived from Tokyo and Australia to the same serviced apartment around Christmas time last year. The time that was very crazy in our husband's world. We were all grateful to immediately find each other and found that our kids all played well together and everyone seemed sweet enough to start a weekly playgroup and the occasional Sunday brunch with our husbands.
The sad thing is that it is taking us a long time to really get to know each other. When Kylie came over with her knowledge of sport injuries and went on about joints, discs and the muscles around them, I was so embarrassed that I didn't know that this is what she did before she became a mom. We get so caugth up in our new, present life with kids that we forget what we were before! She massaged me, tested several nerves and my flexibility and we chatted all while Diego slept and really started to get to know each other. I vowed that I will try to get to know everyone a little better and didn't ask if she thought 2 hours was too long of a nap for Diego or what she thought of the latest class at Gymboree.
Even as acquaintances, 3 very busy women who worry about preparing the next meal, washing their toddlers hands obsessively, throwing laundry in the washer before hitting the park for the day, have a huge desire to lend a hand to a fellow mom who has family across the world and a husband on a business trip. They don't care if I know how many sugars they like in their coffee or what brand of jeans they are wearing. They don't care if I forgot to mention what I did on my last trip because I already posted it all on Facebook. We all understand that when we see each other, we are there to help each other get through the daily grind and cry if we need to, complain and bitch about husbands working late or mention how sleep deprived we all have been.
I do want to know more about these women. I want to know what their favorite books are and how many siblings they have. And not just because they came to my rescue but because we are all new to Singapore and we are sharing the same experience, away from our childhood friends and our own mothers. We need each other to survive and keep our sanity. So we will start organizing girl's night out and leave the energetic toddlers with daddies so we can talk all evening about us for a change and get to know what really makes us-us.
Kylie, my new physio-therapist, not only offered to talk to me about my injury but she left her 2 children at home with a sitter, brought over her little bag full of tape, pressure-point needles and lavender-scent massage cream to help ease my pain...twice this week. She checked on me every day by phone and has found a chiropractor for me to start seeing next week.
Roisin and Rachel each have a child of their own, tracked across town for me, brought their swimmers and took Diego for a swim one afternoon. They also demanded I pack a bag and spend the night at Roisin's so she can feed me breakfast, lunch and dinner and watch Diego with Rachel's help.
I have known these wonderful women for a good 4 months. We all arrived from Tokyo and Australia to the same serviced apartment around Christmas time last year. The time that was very crazy in our husband's world. We were all grateful to immediately find each other and found that our kids all played well together and everyone seemed sweet enough to start a weekly playgroup and the occasional Sunday brunch with our husbands.
The sad thing is that it is taking us a long time to really get to know each other. When Kylie came over with her knowledge of sport injuries and went on about joints, discs and the muscles around them, I was so embarrassed that I didn't know that this is what she did before she became a mom. We get so caugth up in our new, present life with kids that we forget what we were before! She massaged me, tested several nerves and my flexibility and we chatted all while Diego slept and really started to get to know each other. I vowed that I will try to get to know everyone a little better and didn't ask if she thought 2 hours was too long of a nap for Diego or what she thought of the latest class at Gymboree.
Even as acquaintances, 3 very busy women who worry about preparing the next meal, washing their toddlers hands obsessively, throwing laundry in the washer before hitting the park for the day, have a huge desire to lend a hand to a fellow mom who has family across the world and a husband on a business trip. They don't care if I know how many sugars they like in their coffee or what brand of jeans they are wearing. They don't care if I forgot to mention what I did on my last trip because I already posted it all on Facebook. We all understand that when we see each other, we are there to help each other get through the daily grind and cry if we need to, complain and bitch about husbands working late or mention how sleep deprived we all have been.
I do want to know more about these women. I want to know what their favorite books are and how many siblings they have. And not just because they came to my rescue but because we are all new to Singapore and we are sharing the same experience, away from our childhood friends and our own mothers. We need each other to survive and keep our sanity. So we will start organizing girl's night out and leave the energetic toddlers with daddies so we can talk all evening about us for a change and get to know what really makes us-us.
Feeling Cheesy
It has been a long time since I stepped into a classroom. I'm used to being in front of the class, prepared with the daily lesson plans, hoping that I can hold the interest of my students for at least 50 minutes and wanting nothing more than them leaving the class a little inspired.
Yesterday I sat in a 3 1/2 hour photography course and felt so excited to be there. I could have been taking Math 101 and still be excited! I love school. The feeling of walking in to an unknown class room, fresh, blank pages of a notebook, and the new faces make me so happy. I am such a nerd!!
I have to admit that I was a little nervous taking this course. I don't want people to think that I'm a wanna be anything. Not learning anything was also making me a bit nervous. We have to admit that some things are not for everybody. I decided to take the class because Jose and I bought a really nice camera hoping that we could take pictures like our good friend Panos. But people, it doesn't work that way. You just can't buy a camera and wait for good results. Like everything, you have to work at it. The camera is your tool, your instrument. You have to learn how to use it. But the Nikon had a gazillion buttons, an extensive menu and a couple of dials to turn. We were so lost. So I Googled "photography lessons in Singapore" or something and had dozens of choices! I did my research, found a great photographer who had a detailed website, her prices were reasonable and she was a woman (no offense to the men out there).
We started with basics and I won't bore you with those details but after shooting and discussing...guess what? I left the class feeling a different kind of inspiration and it had little to do with photography. I left with an introduction to 7 different human stories. I was inspired by the woman from India, who is in Singapore visiting her sister for 3 months and decided to do something different while on vacation. I was inspired by the retired Singaporean gentleman (and my partner for the day) who has never left Singapore and rather than retiring in front of the television screen, he decided to "take up a hobby". I met another mom. A quiet, South African mother of 3 boys and I couldn't wait to start talking to her.
We had a fantastic time. We modeled for each other, helped each other with the cameras and talked. Everyone (including big, nosey Betty) wants to know, "What brings you to Asia?" You then start to chat it up and voila! New acquaintances! If nothing else, these next 5 weeks will be pleasurable even as I struggle to get those damn macro shots.
xoxo,
Betty
Yesterday I sat in a 3 1/2 hour photography course and felt so excited to be there. I could have been taking Math 101 and still be excited! I love school. The feeling of walking in to an unknown class room, fresh, blank pages of a notebook, and the new faces make me so happy. I am such a nerd!!
I have to admit that I was a little nervous taking this course. I don't want people to think that I'm a wanna be anything. Not learning anything was also making me a bit nervous. We have to admit that some things are not for everybody. I decided to take the class because Jose and I bought a really nice camera hoping that we could take pictures like our good friend Panos. But people, it doesn't work that way. You just can't buy a camera and wait for good results. Like everything, you have to work at it. The camera is your tool, your instrument. You have to learn how to use it. But the Nikon had a gazillion buttons, an extensive menu and a couple of dials to turn. We were so lost. So I Googled "photography lessons in Singapore" or something and had dozens of choices! I did my research, found a great photographer who had a detailed website, her prices were reasonable and she was a woman (no offense to the men out there).
We started with basics and I won't bore you with those details but after shooting and discussing...guess what? I left the class feeling a different kind of inspiration and it had little to do with photography. I left with an introduction to 7 different human stories. I was inspired by the woman from India, who is in Singapore visiting her sister for 3 months and decided to do something different while on vacation. I was inspired by the retired Singaporean gentleman (and my partner for the day) who has never left Singapore and rather than retiring in front of the television screen, he decided to "take up a hobby". I met another mom. A quiet, South African mother of 3 boys and I couldn't wait to start talking to her.
We had a fantastic time. We modeled for each other, helped each other with the cameras and talked. Everyone (including big, nosey Betty) wants to know, "What brings you to Asia?" You then start to chat it up and voila! New acquaintances! If nothing else, these next 5 weeks will be pleasurable even as I struggle to get those damn macro shots.
xoxo,
Betty
