A Little Feedback Please

When I wrote about the cookies a few posts ago, I remember writing a line about my obsession with new ideas. I take hobbies, activities and even career changes to an obsession. I surround my life with everything that has to do with my current state of mind. Currently, 3 new and beautiful pink covered books lie neatly stacked on my end table with recipes for gorgeous cakes, crusty pies and chocolaty brownies. Cylinder cans lie spilling out a green meadow of tennis balls over my white marble floor thanks to Diego's determination to have them race each other. With my writing I am enveloped with extraordinary writing guides recommended by artistic friends and I'm re-reading novels by my favorite authors. Every line I read stands out a little bit more clearly. Sentences seem to speak to me. I feel like I can identify with every novel I read. Magazines are littered in every room and I don't leave my house without reading material in by bag in case I have to wait for the chiropractor or in case Diego falls asleep in his stroller. But with all my obsessions, friends have always been supportive. A cheerleading squad with "You Can Do It!" signs flashing my way. Friends never said, "I know you can do better." Until now.
Not one of my friends said much when I decided to stop teaching and decide to work in the spa industry in New York City. After my disastrous attempt at trying to open up a spa, I started answering phones at a spa. My friends never said, "You shouldn't be a receptionist at a spa! Get back to teaching!" And even if they did think it, they never said it. Perhaps they knew I would keep growing and they hoped that I hook them up with a 90 minute Odyssey Ayurvedic massage and throw in a Darshana Balancing facial! With the writing it has been different. Friends have started to really tell me what they think. Jose uses the same line after reading a post, "You need more details”. I’m working on it honey! A girlfriend recommended that I visit another blog that her friend writes for some ideas and wrote me an awesome email with feedback and ideas. Another girlfriend blatantly told me that I could do better. She even said, "You are holding back. When you can write about everything, the real stuff, the raw stuff, then you have become a writer."
I never said that I wanted to be a writer because (here it goes) because I'm scared. I don't even really know what I would like to write about. Certainly not a novel. A few months ago I had an urge to write and decided to write about my experiences in Asia because many people suggested I should! But here's what I noticed: I didn't mind the advice and the suggestions. I checked my ego at the door! And if that doesn't count for something than I don't know what does! For the first time, I'm not "Little Miss Know it All". I'm helplessly vulnerable-putting myself out there-not worried (ok maybe just a little bit) about what people are going to think. Okay, I worry a lot about what people are going to think. But, I'm comfortable and ready to let everyone guide me.
Friends guide you when they know you are truly struggling. Friends guide you when they know what you truly want to achieve. They know when you are challenged and feel defeated. Great friends really know you, period. When you go through phases in life it's just "living". When you are passionate about something it is life. My friends know I’m ready to live my life. So I’ll take the suggestions (even the ones that sting a little). Because of you dear friends I will become a better something-even if it is not a writer.
Xoxo,
Betty
P.s. Thank you to my cheerleader friends who read every post and hold up “You Can Do It” signs. I love you too.